Eddie Funeral, Wife and Family

Here is what I wrote a Polish male friend of the family, also studied for priest. He went to the wake but I was delayed and didn’t get to see him. He is a retired French Teacher.
I was distraught worse of all when my brother’s eldest son went to step on my mother’s grave, intentionally, as the other things they did to me and mine.
Will God reward her and the kids with all these riches my brother left and leave me broken hearted until I die? What kind of God is that? No wonder people flock to the Jews and their religion for they are living the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth and it gets brighter each day for them.
Here’s the email. There’s a 3 day Elvis festival and want to attend some activities. Glad he was a metaphysician and healer like I became right after his death in late summer 1977, and I became a Christian Scientist.
Thank you for your words and kind insights. I did know that Eddie had a girlfriend, with very blonde hair, that he was madly in love with. But she didn’t love him. Eddie was heartbroken, and I’m not sure if this was the same one. Peggy was crazy about Eddie. Eddie told me that she dressed badly also. As I said, there were 13 kids, and farmers, and probably hand me downs.
I would have liked to be friends with Peggy, but was beneath her. I even thought of that when I called her, to “pretend” we were sisters or friends. I had absolutely no animosity…… but she hated me. I mean “hate” and only God will forgive that, I’m a mortal and can’t. As you will read below I have forgiven much of both Peggy and Eddie but it is not right that a “good” woman like me should suffer.
I wanted to mention something you wrote about about how they were dressed in flip flops while you had a tie on out of respect. John also wore a White shirt and nice tie and had Rose dressed nicely for she can’t take care of herself. (she was once the most beautiful of all of us girls, but the changing neighborhood of South Chicago did a number on her, but that for another email.) I dressed in a dress, and even Peg was in slacks or there were some in shorts. It might seem as if I were “overdressed,” yet I always try to look nice without being overdressed.
I was talking with a TSA agent at the airport scanners and commented that he was “Polish” his last name “Kulka.” He said he was 1/2 Danish and 1/2 Polish. It seemed Claude that he was “ashamed” of his Polish side and “proud” of being Danish or Scandinavian as if they are better than us. He then said to me, “I don’t know about those Polish men always dressing up. Don’t they know they are in “America?” What does it mean to be “in America” is that the same as being “In Sane?” Just cause one dresses up, the other men “hate” that person that does. He said that at family functions the Polish men come dressed up in suits and ties. I was aghast for I asked him if he had any single Polish relatives that “dressed” up for I’m totally sick to the point of vomiting of seeing men in raggedy jeans, dirty jeans, smelling jeans, crushed up tee shirts, hair uncombed and hid under a baseball hat. What has happened to our men? These Germans are rich and could have afforded the best suits of all with 4 buttons on the wrist, ultra-bright White shirts, even a vest if it wasn’t hot, polished shoes, smiling with confidence and strength. Yet this Polish “Kulka” man knocked down the Poles. It seems to be “fashionable” to knock down Poles, but never ever knock down any other nationality or race or they’d take one to prison.
Anyway, I’m glad you dressed nice, and wish I could have seen you. I surely would have taken pictures. But even perhaps I would have overlooked your sincere appreciation of dressing right, and might have overlooked it in my grief.
I was also upset at the graveyard. My mother’s grave was covered with dirt. Daddy’s wasn’t and Eddie was going in the next open grave. So my sister Mary Ann said “Where’s Mama’s grave?” And I said “they buried it with dirt!” I didn’t think it was done deliberately but thought when the excavated the coffin it fell on it. So I bent down with a stick and took off some of the dirt so that no one would step on it for that was Eddie’s mother who above all odds of anything I’ve ever seen in life, gave this world what she believed God wanted her to: 12 babies in abject poverty. But Peg must have nudged him for me to stop, which I did. I didn’t think anything of it, until Chris her grown son, deliberately went up to my mother’s grave, positioned himself with is feet as if ready to step on it. In fact, he had to split his shoes to the side to avoid stepping on it. It was the worse slap in the face I’ve ever seen for the Nowak family, whose Daddy worked for a man they will canonize as a saint soon, waiting the 3rd miracle, Fr. Nelson Monsignor Baker! Kris actually moved from his place which was several feet away to position himself there. Hadn’t I removed the dirt he would have stepped on it “unknowingly” but he end up coming right up to the flat tombstone and his toes actually touching it. It was unbelievable. But in essence, they treated me, at least, as if stepping on me, and I wonder if God will give her all those riches over Eddie’s tears. It doesn’t seem fair or just. To preach having babies and poverty is wonderful, but not to get stepped on for one’s extreme goodness. As I said, only Josephine would have been to see Eddie, and I really think they wanted it that way. When I showed up, I brought John, Rose, Mary Ann, cousin Debbie and her friend agreed to come, you lovingly and unselfishly came, and I showed up. With all of us there, we were bound to compare notes on what was going on in Eddie’s life and death, and hopefully through our prayers, resurrection.
I don’t know if I wrote this before, but I have been working on our ancestry from Poland. I spent several years rounding up death certificates, birth certificates, marriage certificates, Census Reports from 1910, 1920, and 1930. (Ancestry study is the #2 passtime in USA.) I assembled pictures and made phone calls to distant relatives. My brother, John, is also one to “bring the family together.” I think in my fantasies, that I would be like “Joseph” in the Bible. The one his 11 brothers threw in the pit for they hated him,he was sold to slavery, then end up co-ruling Egypt. He then was able to give his brothers all the food they needed for the famine for they accidentally had to go to him for “grains” that were controlled by the government. (We may see that here someday if the history of Poland repeats itself in America, which is what I’m seeing.)
Anyway, I’ve always bent over backwards for my family, but have never gotten that love in return. Even until the funeral, if I didn’t show up, probably Josephine would have been the only one there for “Eddie,” and the crowd there was very “hostile” towards Eddie. I’m going to try to get the passages that were read from the Bible, but it sounded something like the “dead” are punished (Eddie?) while those living will get the riches and the gold. I almost fainted when I heard that. And no one else was paying attention. These were passages that Peg’s relatives were reading, and I already told you I heard from her male relative telling a younger son “not to cry” for Eddie was not well-liked.
Well, given the fact, that I wanted to bring out family together, for we are all split apart like atoms. Each sibling lives with the immediate family, and has nothing to do with the rest. It isn’t just my family, it is getting to be epidemic. It is called “divide and conquer,” strategy. I’m sure the problem built in with male/female relationships is part of that. I read in my book, “How to Succeed with Men” that there is a World War III going on between the male and female here, and I believe it is “intentional.” When one can destroy the most primitive of entities like that, it is unlike anything in my garden species. Males and females are needed. Even in tree pollinating, fruit etc.
So as an act of “kindness” and after all, I wanted to become a nun like St. Therese the Little Flower, cloistered non-speaking nun, whose Mother Superior told her to write her autobiography for she was always doing ‘acts of kindness’…… I made 12 copies of an entire album for each of my family, and sons. Eddie and I were getting close, and Eddie told me he was moving to Vegas, which surely would have upset Peggy. I really played it cool, for I did not want to be the cause of Eddie’s breakup, and even though Peg hates me, I do not hate, and didn’t encourage Eddie to move here. There are cheap or even free trailers here if one wants to fix them up, and I did give Eddie the number.
But when I sent the box with the album of ancestry for him and the kinds, something strange happened. First of all, Eddie was pleased as punch to get the ancestry. He even said that he would start paying 1/2 of all my expenses and that he wanted to study the tombstones of Lackawanna New York where my Daddy and Fr. Baker are from.
I included a letter. In that I mentioned this: Nicky told me that he had to go to the boy’s bathroom for the 1st class. Nicky said the boys at the school were in the bathroom first thing in the morning vomiting from drunkenness, overdrugged on illegal drugs, and even robbing their mother’s many prescriptions. How do you ‘teach’ a boy like that, especially Veteran’s boys who are imitating their father from Viet Nam and the drug addictions they acquired there.” I wrote that in the letter.
Somehow, Peg turned it around and said it was “their” kids. Eddie called me at work and cursed me out so bad, I thought I would get fired for I couldn’t hold the receiver next to my ear. He never allowed me to correct their thought, for I only speak truth. I then realized Peg had pumped him up. She has never spoken a word to me even though I longed to be her friend. She had her many sisters, and the Germans stick together like glue.
Peg then called me right after Eddie screamed at me, and she then screamed at me on the phone even double. Eddie had no touch with our family or friends, so his reality was Peg and the kids and he said for many years they were verbally abusing him.
It took a lot to forgive Eddie, but when I heard he had the CD I wanted to again … do an act of kindness and see if he needed my help. He was happy I called for he needed computer work done since he didn’t work them. So I found many songs that he wanted to sing. Both the original and karaoke music which is background music without the voice. I suggested that we have a duet and sing at Warsaw Inn by you (love their Polish food, especially Czarnina, Duck’s Blood Soup, as Mama made, good for “iron” for breastfeeding mothers, and women carrying babies. It would take 75 servings of spinach to get the iron needed for this kind of woman, but only a few portions of these high iron meals. Men and women are different.
So I burned all the songs and had to buy them. Even though I am living in poverty, I never asked nor wanted the money.
I thought it would be great. I would sing in costume, go change for the next songs, and Eddie would with his great talent, keep the crowd entertained.
I told Eddie 2 things about this: 1) that I was doing it as a ‘favor for him.’ He was desperate for places to play, even for free, where he might sell his CD… I would not be returning to Chicago, so I thought his kind of music was perfect for Warsaw. 2) I told Eddie, “Eddie, My Love” which is a song. Here I will send it to you, to show you how a sister can love, even after abuse. Eddie used to really beat me up as a little girl to the point of unconsciousness. He had a bad temper …. but ‘only for me’ the only really good woman in his life. The family even mentioned in their eulogy that Peg loved Eddie, not for being talented, an excellent provider, a fun personality, but she loved him because they both worked and Eddie did all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, baking, gardening, and Peg didn’t have to do anything. Quite a gem he was I’d say. Anyway, I told Eddie, “Ed, the most important thing about us performing together is not the Warsaw Inn, or even the CD, the crowd, etc. The most important thing is if we can do this and get along. That is all I wanted to get from this performance. The ability to get along with my brother. But I knew we were dealing with entrenched negative feelings that I believe Claude were intentionally put on us. Divide in Conquer. Although all of us got along very well at the wake. It wasn’t long before Eddie called me again and cursed me out saying that if I come out I better not ask him for lifts or anything else for he wouldn’t help me.
It’s bizarre, but this isn’t even just in me and my family. In Christianity, we are always looking to help the forlorn and helpless. Hence my entire family helps my sister Rose who I have to admit is very disturbed. In a large family there is always a “slave” who doesn’t finish 8th grade but is always supposed to be a helper to the Mother. That was Rose, and I thank her for that, for I was able to put all my attention to St. Mary Magdalene School and get A’s, even though we were too poor for a paper and pencil. It will be in my memoirs coming up. But at the same time, the ones that are doing really well or trying hard, for I had problems too, the family not only “ignores” that person, but literally beats them up. Father Witmanski, Pastor from St. Mary Magdalene got up in his sermon to say that I would be the next saint in the Catholic Church for I was always praying, church etc. It really was to heal the arguments of my folks and the fighting between the men and women. But while I’m being so “good,” Mama beat me until 22, Eddie beat me unconscious in my stomach, even Buni slapped me, but please don’t bring it up as my main concern for him is to survive there on his own. Mama once cursed out the church, nuns and priests for being “hypocrites” and “spiritually dead.” It must have hurt Mama deeply to have all those children sacredly for “God” and then see the Catholic Church abandon us while helping all the blacks and browns. We got no freebies or even a basket of food when the refrigerator was empty for days. Nor could we complain for we had to be “strong.” That being the case, I failed 1st grade for I had no shoes in the cold, freezing Chicago winters. When I did go to school, wearing shoes that were unbearably tight and hurting even bleeding my feet, the nun would have exercises of math at the board. I had missed so much school I didn’t know what was going on. So she would ask us to go to the blackboard and figure out problems, like 2 + 3 = 6…. (ha ha ha, I mean =5 just trying to see if you are still with me, which if you aren’t I don’t blame you at all.) When I went to the blackboard she was smart enough to know I was off too much and when I wrote the wrong answer she beat me in front of the whole class. I think when one is a “good’ woman the other women resent that. You know the book “Men Love Bitches: Stop Being a Doormat and Get the Man of Your Dreams.” I’m the “opposite” of a bitch and have suffered and still suffer today. Where my siblings should be doing everything to support me in jobs, relationships, even entertaining, they distance themselves from me and help Rose. Rose has gotten help from hospitals her entire life, and from the family who always go to see her, buy her presents, take her to lunch. If you see John, you will see how wonderful he treats her. I’ve never been treated well like that in my life.
I’m just glad that all of us are functioning and doing well. My son Paul was taught at Christian Science boarding schools and they literally saved his life. At that same school, Rickover in Sauk Village, there were German Shepherd dogs patrolling the halls for all the drugs that were flowing thru, and that would have hurt my son. It hurt my older son who had no choice to stay there. My first son had 98.7% highest PSI results for his tests on mentality, and especially for Math. But he end up dropping out of school. He works now though as a milkman, and I see that our country was so busy helping minority and their Civil Rights that they let our boys rot. It is said here in Vegas when I talked to a former nun married to a former priest, that her White son is the ‘only’ boy in a certain fine school in advanced math and science. The other 29 were girls, Jews, Chinese, Hindus, Blacks and Browns who get special attention and mentors. Her son could not keep up his good grades for the other kids’ mothers could stay home and help with homework, activities, sports and she had to work long hours just to keep him there. She even said he was fantastic at tennis, had to pay $90.00 for lessons, while the others got grants, breaks, mentors for being minorities. Oh was she hot and even though we worked at a Jewish firm, she voiced her dismay about how badly the future looked for the white boys, especially her own. Paul owns a Condo right by the White House and does computer programming for the Commodities. As I wrote before, he was dating a gal from that school whose father worked directly for George Bush, Candoleeza Rice, and was 5th highest in command in the USA. (she drank and smoked and I guess thought that was bad for babies if they wanted them and rightfully so, although I don’t influence my son. In today’s world, the TV, radio, schools mold the minds of our youth, not the parents, who are usually overworked and only to happy to drop them off at a government run school.
Anyway, I better get cutting I need to go to a 3 day Elvis festival and wanted to sing and check out some of Elvis’ Memphis Mafia, friends, family. I’ve already read 16 biographies, although biographies and non-fiction are the only books I read anyway. I always have one standing up while I eat my meals.
Just one more thing. DID YOU GET A COPY OF EDDIE’S CD? IF NOT I WILL SEND IT TO YOU? He made the most beautiful song called “Goodnite Sweet Jesus, Goodnite, It’s the end of a long hard day.” I wanted to have that played before the coffin was closed, while we all passed and even kissed Eddie and Josephine and I did. Doesn’t that sound perfect? It would be like Eddie going into heaven to Jesus, God. He would be “going to sleep” for the last time. My older sister called up and she said the same thing and we didn’t even compare notes until then. As I said, Eddie’s music could hardly be heard. Peg and the kids were not fond of it. I asked them if they had a CD player so we could play that. Being that I’m karaoking big time for 12 years one gets an “instinct.” But when the time came for the closing of the coffin, they indeed put a song on, for they probably hadn’t thought of it up until then. But to show their superiority over us, for the Reckamps are all successful and rich, she had a song played dedicated to herself, not to God, not to Jesus, or to Eddie, who this was really about. This was his last and final show. Instead she played a song of his I have never heard as if Eddie were singing to her, “You’re wonderful, you’re so kind, you are always doing sweet things for me.” I was crying for I thought he was singing it to me and then I stopped crying for I realized she picked that song for herself. What “sweet” things did she do for Eddie when he did the cooking, Eddie did the cleaning, Eddie did the laundry, Eddie took care of the house, Eddie had to go himself on a train when he was dying downtown to see the Jewish psychiatrist, (who my sister said was giving him too many anti-depressants and overmedicating him for Eddie was on 3 different pills from him, in addition to the pills.) When Eddie was dying and couldn’t get up, she yelled at him and she told me so. He couldn’t get up to wash himself. Eddie complained for when he was sick and lying there needing his medication to stay alive he’d ask his daughter to run to the drug store and she refuses and I guess mouths off to him.
Eddie wasn’t that good to me. But I also see that like many White men who are being intentionally brought down, he took it out on the one that cared about him.
Well. I never dreamed Christianity would be about the rich Christians against the poor Whites. But that is how it seemed. It was good that I went though, for hadn’t I gone, I wouldn’t have all the stories from the rest of my family for I rarely talk to them and if Josephine went, she wouldn’t have gathered all these things.
You know, I think part of it stems from a false idea of Christianity and Jesus. We have these pictures of him having been beaten and bloody and “doesn’t say a word” and even suffers the abandonment of all his disciples who left him when it got “hot” for Jesus. We get the false notion that one should be “strong and alone and endure” and suffer. I believe God wants us happy. I once read in the J.B. Phillips New Testament Bible that if we were to sum up in 2 words the entire life it would be Christ Jesus saying to us with a smile, “Enjoy Life!” I never got that from my study or those that taught me before. It was then that I embraced karaoke with a full heart of love for God, myself, and my fellow human beings. And I have literally helped millions around the world to “Enjoy Life’ from Jenny Jones (she’s Polish) which started American Idol, to parades where millions would assemble of all races, and even going out of my way to put other races ahead of my own, which I now see is wrong for my mental health.
Although I went up to Peggy, I didn’t hug her goodbye. So many things went on that were anti-Polish Nowak and pro-German Reckamp her last name, it was humiliating. Also, Mary Ann wrote a beautiful long poem and got to read it. But surely when she asked Peggy, it was right before the closing of the casket and Peggy couldn’t say no in front of the crowd. If you would like a copy I will ask my sister to mail it to you. Her poetry is sweet and she used to go on Chicago Radio as “Mary the Mystery” on the Midnight talk show and read her original poetry. She has boxes of it. There was a woman in Vegas who did the same on KDNR when I used to go on talk radio for politics. Mary Ann got to read it, but again, we were not invited nor welcomed as we weren’t invited to the $25,000.00 wedding they had recently. The only invited was Gloria from Florida, & she wouldn’t go. John got up before the coffin went underground and said he’d like to share a good thought about Eddie in that he loved, loved the space program, and the space program ended the same week he died. He did “not” ask Peggy he just spoke it as one of her relative men got up and asked to say a prayer at the meal at the Italian Restaurant, Bellagios.
I wanted to sing the #1 Funeral Song, “My Heart Will Go On.” I not only “sing” I “study” music making it a very intelligent exercise which no one really understands at my level, but I have to do things and think things of the “Highest” and to me the “Highest is Love and Justice.” I left our table and went to ask if I could sing as they have at restaurants. People are coming back to Vegas to take their vacations just to see my performances. Many have said I’m the best talent here and they never thought they would find this high level of entertainment in Vegas. Peggy made the dirtiest face and said “No!” again loud in front of the members of her table.
It’s beserk! When I worked for rich Jews downtown Chicago in the Neiman Marcus building, and although they were Satanic, and that isn’t “my” words but the woman and other co-workers there who hired and fired so many employees one could fill a forest preserve and there were only about 9 people! But we had our Christmas Party at the fancy Drake Hotel. They hired a piano player but no singer. They knew I sung, but at that time in 1995, very little. The rich Jewish owner came up to me personally and begged me to sing for the crowd. Jews know that for an entertainer to make it the entertainer needs opportunities like this to get practice of singing in public. And I did and they wanted more.
It’s just like the Jenny Jones Tape of me as the Queen of Karaoke which turned into American Idol, the White Christians all had access and seen that tape. They knocked me down, and I was crying. I think I mentioned I was at Cheesecake Factory sitting next to a female song writer who struck up a conversation. When I meant that it was difficult to be this “Queen of Karaoke,” she end up writing a song bout it which is now being requested at her concerts all over the world, more than any other song she wrote! I don’t get profits from any of this, I make nothing and do it out of love, which people call “crazy.” Anyone could have watched that Jenny Jones Show and “looked for the good,” as the Jewish man did that I gave the tape to. While White Christians were knocking me down, Jews transformed the tape into American Idol and the rest is history, the most watched show in history.
Anyway, here is the song “Eddie My Love,” as I hope he rests in God’s arms. Either that or inspires me to pick up his political activism for he was very angry about what was happening to the USA. It is why he made the song “We the People,” copyrighted.
You’ll see some fine pix and Vintage Video here. Although I don’t see Eddie like a lover. Matter of fact, of the 27 books I read on sex, the one entitled “The Scent of Eros: the Mystery of Odor in Human Sexuality,” by James Vaughn Kohl and Robert T. Francoeur, they write plainly that in a family, there is an “invisible odor” that a human emits. In a family of parents and children, this “scent” or “odor” makes the members “not want to have sex with one another.” It is Nature’s way of preventing parents of having sex with their children or siblings with each other even though they might sleep in the same bed. Those that commit incest as some nationalities and religions have done, like Jews in Poland, really are breaking the highest of Nature’s laws.
I love these halter dresses from the past, and have designed some of my costumes as their gowns! I like to finish on a positive note. Have a wonderful day, Claudie!

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